So I would sometimes say 'Me, Tom, Tim, and John', if I'm not feeling too self-conscious about myself. Although my elementary school teacher told us you shouldn't use me in the beginning of the sentence, because that's not the "better" way, it doesn't mean it cannot be used nor that it is not grammatically correct. But I think both she and I and she and me works. I remember the teacher saying, 'And, if you have to use the word me, then at least say tom, Tim, John, and me'. Except for the part that in formal language you should use I at the end of the list of people you're talking about, because if you say 'I, Tom, Tim, and John went.' it sounds more selfish or something like that. I don't remember learning this in school. "īy contrast, "Her and I" is a clear grammatical error.
I do believe I was taught that it is polite to say "Jane and I" rather than "I and Jane," and the latter does sound a bit awkward to me, but again, I have trouble seeing this as a matter of grammar rather than courtesy or good taste, and, in reality, I would not be in the least offended by someone who said "I and Nigel. Both sound a little bit awkward, but I have a hard time seeing either as ungrammatical (in the object position), although perhaps it is true that the latter is, marginally, more polite (although I cannot imagine anyone actually being offended by the former). In most contexts, "she and I" is awkward (which is not to say "wrong").Īs for "me and her" versus "her and me," I see very little to choose between them. Porsche: I did not say, and did not knowingly imply, that "she and I" is incorrect, and I agree that there are some contexts where it is preferable to "we." I said, after all, that it is ' almost always be more natural to say “we”.' Such contexts are rather rare, however, and I see nothing in the description of the original post's example to suggest that it is one of them.
The specificity of "she and I" would be wholly appropriate and stylistically preferred.
Not everyone in the group would have knowledge of everyone else's travel history. Perhaps you or someone else in the group might have gone to Kansas with me then or at a previous time as well. Note the transition from "Jane" to "she and I" to "we". Let's say you and I are sitting together along with a few others, and my friend, Jane walks over: Does "us" mean her and me? him and me? you and me? you, John, Mary and me, but not Ed and Alice? Let me illustrate by putting the sentence in question into a possible context. In many but not all cases, "we" and "us" make reasonable substitutes, but you must consider that they are often ambiguous. prescriptive debate in other threads on this site has already been beaten this subject to death, but suffice it to say, while "me and her" is becoming less uncommon, it's not considered standard English. As far as I know, every schoolchild in every English speaking country and every ESL student in every other country is still taught that "me and her", "me and you", etc., is both ungrammatical and actually rude in its lack of deference. You'd probably find "her and me" much less objectionable and wouldn't even notice it. Nigel, "me and her" sounds awkward because the convention in "standard" English is to put "me" (or "I" when appropriate) at the end.
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